In the midst of a panic-inducing moment, sitting in my therapist’s office, I couldn’t help but wonder why everything felt so wrong. Here I was, grappling with overwhelming anxiety again after beaming with happiness, describing my life as “phenomenal” to friends. So, what had changed? It all traced back to the havoc wreaked by the stomach flu. Lack of appetite, multiple bouts of vomiting, sleep deprivation, and dehydration had left my gut in disarray.
In discussing this with my therapist, we explored the connection between gut health and mental well-being, the intricate relationship between the nerves in our stomach and our brain. Although there isn’t an abundance of scientific research on the topic, it has been shown that the two are indeed interconnected—a topic deserving of further exploration. But for now, let’s focus on the panic attack.
In that moment, I couldn’t help but think about how people don’t understand what someone is feeling or thinking when they are experiencing anxiety or on the verge of a panic attack. How can someone find the right words to describe the intensity of the moment. “It’s like the room we’re sitting in is on fire,” I told my therapist. I can see it the flames, I can feel the heat, but everyone is telling me the fire isn’t real. My emotional mind urged me to run, hide, panic, or cry. My logical mind told me it was all a lie.
So, what steps did we take? What strategies did we consider?
- Addressing/Acknowledging the thoughts: We focused on identifying the distressing thoughts that plagued me. I felt as though something was terribly wrong, but upon closer examination, nothing significant had changed in my life except for the sickness. It was crucial to acknowledge that my panicked, sad, and anxious feelings were stemming from the illness rather than any actual change in circumstances.
- Revisited recent history: We delved into past experiences. Had similar episodes occurred before? Yes, twice in the past four months. Were the circumstances comparable? In one instance, I had also been sick, but the other episode seemed more random. How long did it take to recover? Three weeks and two weeks, respectively. Based on this history, we logically assumed that I would eventually recover, though it might take another two or three weeks.
- Discussing possible actions: We explored the tools in my arsenal that had proven effective in the past. What actions could I take to help myself? Although I didn’t necessarily feel like doing them, I knew these actions were crucial for my body and mind. Meditation, mindfulness, physical movement, proper nutrition, gratitude, and time were all on the list of activities that could help me regain balance.
Leaving the therapist’s office that day, I didn’t feel an immediate sense of relief. In fact, I found myself shedding tears in the final moments of the session, leaving me feeling worse than when I had arrived. As I drove home, my instincts were to head straight to the bedroom and seek solace in sleep. However, my faithful companion, Doggo, had a different idea. With pleading eyes, she insisted on going for our daily afternoon walk. Every emotional fiber within me resisted, but I knew, logically, that the walk would offer fresh air, sunlight on my face, and the opportunity to do something for someone else. Reluctantly, I grabbed the leash, and off we went.
It’s in those moments—midday, with Doggo by my side—that I realized the power of pushing through and engaging in activities that filled my emotional bucket. The one-mile walk, the act of being present for my furry friend, the sensations of nature enveloping me—it all contributed to a subtle shift in my mindset. And though it didn’t instantly solve everything, it was a step in the right direction.
I’m happy to report that, over the course of approximately ten days, I gradually recovered from the emotional slump I found myself in. I implemented a stack of habits, incorporating various activities that had proven helpful in the past. Some days, these strategies worked like a charm, while on others, the effects were less profound. Nonetheless, I understood the importance of persevering and giving my body and mind what they needed.
Throughout that challenging period, I learned valuable lessons. And as I continue on my journey, I strive to reduce the recovery time even further in the future. But I’ve also come to accept that if I don’t succeed in speeding up the process, it’s okay too. Each experience is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
So, as I reflect on the room that felt like it was engulfed in flames, I now understand that sometimes, the fire within is not visible to others. But armed with my optimistic mindset, I can face those moments of panic, sadness, and anxiety head-on. I can acknowledge the thoughts, review my history, and take proactive steps to reclaim my equilibrium. It’s a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and the willingness to push through even when I don’t feel like it. And with each step forward, I move closer to a life filled with resilience, joy, and a renewed sense of purpose.
Remember, we all have our own battles to fight, but by embracing our unique experiences and applying the tools at our disposal, we can navigate the flames and emerge stronger on the other side.
